An afternoon at the Legislature

Last night I was up feeding Ellie at 3am, and couldn't get back to sleep afterwards. I had about 400 ideas and thoughts floating through my head. I write my best blog posts in my mind at that time typically, and then forget everything in the morning when I wake up.

On the weekend we paid a visit to the Legislature grounds and played in the fountains. It was a perfectly hot day out and Wren loved it, of course! 

(Cool kid in her shades)

As I was letting these photos load, thinking about how I would tell you all about the fun we had, I got thinking at how misleading photos can be. I was talking with a friend yesterday that has her own little ones, just about the challenges of having a family. It made me realize that perhaps my posts make my life look really easy and carefree every minute of the day...but I'm not on the "reader" side of this blog so you tell me. :) 

However, I don't want to post about negative things and I think that presenting the positive is more worthy of my time and your time on here as a reader. I read a lot of positive, fun, inspiring blogs and it's helped me see life in a brighter light and to get out there and have adventures with the girls, so I think it's worth focusing on that in my own blog too. 

Anyway, the reality of life with kids is that everything takes effort. As we were packing up the girls to get in the car, Kenton commented on how much stuff we had to bring. It was pretty crazy...tiny cooler for snacks, blanket to sit on, diaper bag full of wipes and diapers and extra clothes and bathing suits and a towel, stroller, baby carrier, water bottles, etc, etc...

Two little ones are a lot of work. I keep reminding myself that it will get easier, my diaper bag gets lighter as time goes on. 

It will not always be this way.

Now with two, there is no downtime. Kenton and I are always watching one or both of the girls, and time to ourselves has disappeared. 

Kenton gets Wren into her bathing suit to take her to the fountains while I stay with the stroller in the shade with Ellie. There is always one of the girls with us.

I've been thinking of trying to plan a morning on a weekend where just Wren and I go out to do something fun. Even though she isn't jealous in the slightest of Ellie and her neediness, I'm sure she'd just die if she got some exclusive Mom and Wren time. But that is the other challenge, with Kenton working during the week, weekends are left to get other things done. Groceries must be bought, lawns need to be mowed, markets are to be visited, Grandparents are to be hung out with and friends are to be seen...all things we love and need to do, all things that take up pockets of time.

Kenton and I have yet to have a night out to ourselves since Ellie has been born. Our last dinner sans children was at The Marc downtown when I was super pregnant. I found it so much easier to leave Wren (at least it seems like it, I find I remember things wrong or don't remember them at all anymore!), but maybe it's different because Ellie is pretty much exclusively breastfed. She takes a bottle fine but is fussier in the evenings and could just be awake and eat all evening long...maybe a bit challenging for a sitter? I'm sure our sitters (aka Grandparents and/or Aunty Andrea) would be up for it though!

Blog reading is my sanity during nap time. It's hard to get both girls down at the same time, so I tend to not nap a lot during the week. I mean, Ellie only wakes up once in the night typically so I find I have enough energy during the day to not need a sleep. 

But I love reading my blogs during that quiet time. I sort of wonder what life was like before blogs entered my world...they fill a void that Facebook could never. I haven't missed Facebook since.

And the 2's. Oh those terrible 2's. If your child never went through them, you either don't remember it or you got lucky. 

We seem to have a network of people around us with kids in the same age range, and talking about what our kids are doing at this age really helps. You realize that your kid is not that different from anyone else's, even when you were certain yours was the only one that could be such a little...you know what, that day. 

I love the conversations that come out of it too- talking about our toddlers public meltdowns, how they turn around and tell us to "SHH! Mommy!!" or tantrum every 4 minutes at home all day long. It's like a support group, like AA, only you could call it, TT for Terrible Twos or something. 

We keep reminding each other of the overarching parenting philosophy/cliche..."This too shall pass" (until they turn 13, says their grandparents). 

The other factor in adjusting to new babies is the postpartum blues/depression. I can say that I've only experience blues at best, not depression after having both girls. But the blues are enough. They sort of sneak up on you and some days are just harder than others for no reason in particular. 

I can have tons of energy and motivation one day and be taking the girls to a park in the morning and running errands with both in the afternoon and get home and make supper and feel happy about the day. 

The next day I can wake up and just rolling out of bed is hard. Everything feels difficult and the only thing I feel like doing is turning on another show for Wren to watch. I cry more easily, life seems dreary and I don't feel like trying to do anything with the day. Ellie is only 3 months old, so I'm not saying those blue days are over yet, but I feel more aware of them this time around than I did with Wren as a baby. They come and go and its okay and it's normal.

Yesterday Kenton had the afternoon off so we tackled a basement project- organizing the laundry room. With all the rain, we figured we'd be screwed if we got water in our basement because we still had a ton of things in boxes down there. So he went out and bought some shelves and we ploughed through the mess and sorted kids clothes, toys, sewing supplies, luggage and who knows what else neatly onto the shelves.

It feels great. I actually know where our stuff is now!

I even had a chance to organize the toys and find the things that Ellie will be interested in playing with in the next few months. I swapped out some of Wren's toys with ones that were downstairs just for a chance in scenery for her. It was like they were new again.

I have days where I look at some of my friends lives (that don't have kids) and see how much "easier" life seems without sitters, nap times, tantrums, lack of sleep...you know, everything that comes with kids. Days where they are free to do anything they feel like without agenda. 

I wouldn't trade these little stinkers for anything, or Kenton of course, not for all the breezy dreamy kidless days that could be out there. 

I could write another million blog posts about every single little cute/funny/ridiculous/silly/crazy thing the girls do for the rest of my life. I will never want to be without those moments now that I have them...

Besides, there are two things I think of when I have thoughts like that. One is that the 'grass is always greener', and two- maybe one day those friends will be calling me up to get advice on how to get their kids to sleep through the night. And I will only be excited to be in that phase of life with them someday too :)