On Breastfeeding.

I had a terrible time with breastfeeding Wren. So terrible that I gave up within a few weeks, bottle fed her, felt guilty and tried to reestablish my milk and try breastfeeding again...which still failed.
It was really stressful and frustrating. The worst part was that nobody could really show me how to do it in the hospital properly after she was born. By the time someone (as in my mom's nurse friend that was on shift the next day before we were discharged) came to help me, I was sore and even bleeding (*cringe*). Talk about a negative first experience.
A friend of mine that works in a baby boutique told me that somewhere in Europe (I have a 5 second memory and can't recall where), they keep the new mom's in the hospital longer and teach them how to breastfeed, so they have over a 95% success rate for breastfeeding.
I'm not saying all Edmonton hospitals are like this, but the one I delivered at seemed to not care much about breastfeeding. All the nurses would say that they weren't experts on it but would try to help. Wow. Thanks a bunch. After a couple of weeks at home with Wren, the Healthy Beginnings nurse that came for my home visit referred me to the breastfeeding clinic at the Royal Alex after a frustrating session with her trying to teach me how to feed again. It involved pillows everywhere and re-latching Wren repeatedly until we were both in tears. By the time I got the referral for the clinic, I was done and unhappy  with trying to breastfeed. I was starting to dread feeding Wren and in turn, resent her, so I accepted that the bottle was best for everyone's sanity. I had also gotten mastitis twice. I was sad though, because I seemed to produce milk by the gallon. I didn't want all this to happen with the next baby.

Knowing what I did from Wren, I was determined to make breastfeeding happen and get help this time with Ellie.
As soon as Ellie was cleaned up and brought to my bedside after the delivery, the nurse asked me if I wanted to try and feed her. I asked her to show me how and her response was "This is your second, isn't it?" as if I was supposed to know how to do this. She tried to show me, but like with Wren, she wasn't really sure. I was instantly frustrated but not surprised. I even had the nipple shield packed in my bag this time to save myself the pain I went through last time. It was like deja vu with Ellie, same problems latching and feeding.
When the paediatrician came to check Ellie before we went home, I asked her to put in a referral right away to the breastfeeding clinic. I wanted to go asap so that I could get help right away.
I was struggling with feeding for the next few days. My appointment to the clinic was just several days after we came home with Ellie, if that. I was nervous for my appointment, thinking it would be like the home visits from the nurses- stressful and not helpful in the end.
But when I met Madeline, the breastfeeding specialist, I was at ease. She was calm, understanding, and realistic. She gave me a nursing pillow and showed me how to latch Ellie properly without hassle. She was happy to see that Ellie had a great sucking reflex and was confident that I could put away my nipple shield and that Ellie and I could do this. I followed the things she told me to, and went home feeling incredibly encouraged about feeding. She also gave me about a million breast pad samples and wanted me to book a follow up visit for the week after to see how things were going.

I went home and tried out feeding using her recommendations, and it worked! Ellie was latching properly, for the most part, as we still needed to practice. Madeline had said that both Ellie and I needed to learn but that she was a smart baby and can do it. But I felt that I could do this and that over time, it would get better. It was a really weird feeling when I realized that this baby was going to be breastfed!

I went for my follow up visit the next week, and though still not perfect, we had improved a lot. Ellie had gained weight and Madeline was happy with our progress. She encouraged me to call if I had any questions at all, big or small, and to come see her again if I needed to. I was so grateful to her and her help. I also wished that someone like her worked in post-partum in the hospitals for new moms like me that needed breastfeeding guidance after delivery. Maybe that's too forward thinking?

Ellie is now 3 weeks old and is exclusively breastfed, which I still hardly believe myself. But I write all this because I wish I had known how proactive I would have to be about breastfeeding before I had kids. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with bottles and formula. I accepted that it was just fine to do that method with Wren. But there were a lot of bottles to be cleaned and sanitized, not to mention always needing formula on hand wherever we went. Also, formula is expensive- but we used the Costco Kirkland brand which worked just as well as the most expensive brands out there.

I also believe that breast milk is best, otherwise I wouldn't have worked so hard to breastfeed in the first place. I can't say that it's all been a magical experience this time around either. Milk is everywhere. If Ellie gets too much and let's go, it's spraying in all directions, and mostly in her little face! (TMI? sorry.) It's not always very comfortable either. I use a lot of nipple cream, that's for sure. I have a supply of breast pads for leakage at all times. I had to buy a nursing pillow and nursing cover- things I didn't need last time around.
But my least favourite part (not to start whining), is that only I can get up and feed her in the night right now. With bottles, Kenton could get up and do a feed with Wren. Now it's just me, and that has been challenging too. (I should mention that Kenton is incredibly willing to get up and burp her or rock her back to sleep which I'm very thankful for).
I'm still not very skillful at feeding her in public places with the nursing cover- it's mostly blowing in the wind or not pulled over me properly, but I figure it can only get better from here.

I have learned that breastfeeding is not a very natural process. I mean it can be, I have friends that have zero problems and feed their babies easily from the get-go. But it's really hard to  know where to get help when you are having problems. Putting in a referral at the hospital to a breastfeeding clinic is helpful, even if the nurse seems to give you flack for it. (Mine needed to know a "real" reason for my referral to which I said...I don't know how to breastfeed. I just have to go to the clinic please and thank you.) Or look at joining Le Leche League right away or find one in your area. I don't know many other resources, but if one trip to the Royal Alex's breastfeeding clinic is all I needed, it's worth the drive wherever you live in the city, to go there- apparently they have other locations as well.

Here are some things that are helpful to have ready before baby comes if you plan to breastfeed:

-I would recommend having this Medela nipple shield on hand before you have your baby in case feeding is painful at first. It will save you some or a lot of pain in the beginning, especially if you need to get to a feeding specialist for help. I would also recommend any of the other products on the Medela site for nipple care, especially the Soft Shells for between feeds to let yourself heal. The Medela nipple cream is also great, as well as Lansinoh Lanolin cream- especially great for before you get in the shower!

-A breast pump is also a very good idea. I use the Medela Harmony which is a manual pump and the bottles for feeding and storage. I got really lucky- my mom found a ton of Medela 5 oz bottles at a second hand store (still new in their packages) so I could pump and store my milk in the freezer. Pumping is helpful, especially in that first week of feeding when your milk comes in and you are, ahem, slightly engorged. It's also good if you want to go out (or get some sleep) and have someone else bottle feed the baby your breast milk.

-I am also interested to try the new Medela Calma bottle to feed Ellie with when she has the occasional bottle from Kenton or a family member or friend. It's supposed to mimic breastfeeding with a new nipple design.

Why all the Medela products? I found it easiest to use one system instead of a mix of products. The Medela pump attaches to any of the bottles, and then the bottles can go right into the freezer or fridge. It's just more streamlined, and they have great stuff!

-And like I mentioned earlier, breast pads may be essential as well. I like the Lansinoh brand best because they are thin and comfortable. The Johnson's brand is also good but because I leak milk like crazy, they can turn into life raft size when they absorb all that milk!

-If you're going to be breastfeeding in public, which I'm sure will have to happen if you plan on leaving your house at all, a nursing cover is grand. I tried using one of Ellie's Aden & Anais swaddling blankets  when we were at a park a week ago, and all it did was billow and nearly blow away in the wind. I instantly went and bought myself a cover...unfortunately the brand is called Hooter Hiders (how lame?!), but aside from that I was happy to find this nice color and pattern. They have boning in the top so you can peek in and see what's going on with baby while you feed.

Speaking of feeding in public, these shirts from Boob Design Clothing would make feeding in public that much easier and more discreet. They are not cheap, and the shipping is crazy, so if you know of a store in the city that sells their line, please let me know!