If you are squeamish about words like "birth", "nipple shields" and "breastfeeding", I don't recommend you read on!
I know there are friends out there expecting their first babies and are reading this little blog of mine. This entry is for you soon-to-be moms, friends that aren't moms yet, or friends who are just curious. Keep in mind though, this is just my experience.
Some things I wish I knew beforehand (or think is important to mention) about childbirth and newborns:
1.) Have your bag packed...and don't forget to bring your husband some snacks and a change of clothes too! Poor Kenton was stuck wearing the same thing to bed in the hospital that he wore the whole day. Jeans aren't comfortable to sleep in.
2.) Don't assume a nurse will come to help show you how to breastfeed. I had to ask, and even then, it was a sad experience. Breastfeeding can be really tricky, you and your baby are both learning! If a nurse shows you, but you still aren't sure, or it feels incredibly painful, ask, ask, ASK for help. It's their job. Nope, I'm done being bitter...totally not bitter..
3.) Do yourself a favour, buy a
nipple shield ahead of time. Kenton's mom ran out and got one for me from Bosom Babies 2 days after Wrennie was born. Then my friend Cara got to watch as I tried to figure it out with a screaming newborn in my arms. The learning curve can be steep! While you are getting that shield, go get some breast pads for your huge leaky boobs, and some lanolin cream. And when that milk comes...it will be hurty. Yes, hurty.
4.) This is not pessimism...Exhaustion will hit you like a truck once the high of having your newborn in the world wears off, and it can be hard. Some handle it well...I don't. If you have family or friends around, call them up to hold your baby while you take a nap. If you have heard the phrase, "Sleep when your baby sleeps"...take it with a grain of salt. If you are like me, you will fall asleep just as your baby decides to wake up again to eat. It can be cruel.
5.) You will be sore after you give birth, whether you deliver naturally or have a c-section. Mine was natural. After the epidural wore off, the sore achey feeling is intense to say the least! I could barely stand for longer than 5 minutes at a time. Even sitting is sore. Getting out of bed hurts. Everything hurts. Your muscles may hurt from pushing. Your stitches will hurt. Take that water bottle they (should) give you at the hospital and use it when you go to the bathroom. Take all the extra pads you can. Stick the pads in the freezer and maybe even spray them with some witch hazel or other "bottom care" product. A friend gave me a
"bottom" spray by Mother Earth. It was a life saver!! I hate the smell of it now, it reminds me of, well, pain, but it helped.
6.) Visitors. We did it the WRONG way. We had people over almost every night for 2 weeks straight, or something close to that. That was stupid. Really stupid. I was so exhausted that my heart would pound in my chest and I had no color in my face. Seriously. We should have just had a bunch of people over at once in the beginning. Then said no more. We know better for next time. Of course we love everyone that did come over, we WANTED them to see Wrennie, we should have just done it a different way. So hear me now, don't feel bad about saying no to people, especially if they have already seen the little one. Unless it is your mom coming over to hold her while you sleep, that is different :)
7.) If breastfeeding doesn't pan out and you put your baby on formula, something I wish I had known, was that you probably need to wean them onto the formula. Sometimes we would give Wrennie one full bottle of formula instead of breast milk (I was both pumping and trying to breastfeed at the time) and she would projectile vomit it all back out. I am not talking spit up, I mean barf it back up through both her nose and mouth! A friend said to try and give her a little in her breast milk bottles and gradually increase it to help her little system digest it easier. It worked.
8.) If you can, prepare some meals before you baby comes, and freeze them. Easy things like stews, soups, and casseroles can be so helpful. Do it yourself, or ask friends or family to a few weeks before your due date. Our family and friends did that for us, and it helped us out for nearly a month! It was amazing!
9.) A hard reality for myself was that becoming a mother did not feel natural for me. Yes I was excited to have her in my arms, and in love with her, but I was also scared, and not sure if I was ready for what I signed up for. Something even harder to admit was that I didn't really like Wrennie right off the bat. This is hard to explain, but with the exhaustion and constant demand that I was not prepared for in the least, I began to dread feeding her (it hurt and wasn't working) and dread the night-time. Even though I loved her right from the get-go, I didn't think I had it in me to do what I had to. Many tears fell because of this. I felt bad, guilty, and crazy from the post-partum hormonal let-down. I didn't feel like myself and I wasn't all that happy. If I hid it well, I didn't really mean to, but it wasn't something I wanted to go around advertising. I mean, who thinks that way of their newborn?? Being a mother is supposed to be all wonderful, amazing, rewarding, etc. etc. Now it is, but it wasn't at first. I like Wrennie so much and love her, and think she is the funnest and cutest kid of all time. Things do get easier, just like everyone said it would, and I love this mom thing so much more!
10.) Being a mom is hard, amazing, rewarding, and can surprise you with how much joy comes with it! And time really does fly....
Can you believe she was this little several months ago??
And now she is so big and even more delicious!
